The Blowfish Catalog #8 Review

Originally appeared in issue 13 of Married Punks, published in 1998.


The Blowfish Catalog #8

Why bother with Good Vibrations, which uses the women owned business aspect to justify higher prices, when Blowfish is around?  Yeah, the prices in this catalog are high (I know what these things go for wholesale), but it's a better business with a cooler catalog.  The cover is hot, as are the photos inside.

Get this if you're in the market for whips, lubes, dildos, videos or sexual objects of art.

Angry Thoreauan #20 Review

This was originally published in 1998 in issue 13 of Married Punks.


Angry Thoreauan #20

I read this at work in between visits from the usual mental midgets that frequent the joint.  As always, I enjoyed the hell out of this, the issue dedicated to Los Angeles, a pit of humanity.

Of the many features, the ones that shined were the letters, the piece on meter maids (I did something similar, but a bit more violent several issues ago), Rev Tin-ear's diary, Tin-ear's stint at Cedars-Sinai, Amok's change to Koma, and the reviews.  The opinions expressed were biting on right on the mark.

My only complaint, and it is a small one, is the odd spellings and the tangents that sometimes stray far from the story at hand.  These things can be distracting, but somehow it fits this magazine (with color inside and out, which must cost a fortune).

I recommend that ever person reading my 'zine order a copy of Angry Thoreauan today.

Amateur Pix & Videos Newsletter #9 Review

This review originally appeared in issue 13 of Married Punks, published 1998.


Amateur Pix & Videos Newsletter #9

If you're interesting making your own amateur videos, mostly of a sexual nature, then this might interest you.  It has tips on lighting, the types of tapes you should use, and the terms used by video hounds.  Also of interest is the list of websites that feature amateur pictures.

If you do make a video, please send it to me to review!

All the Answers #4 Review

This originally appeared in 1998 in issue 13 of Married Punks.


All the Answers #4

This punk 'zine has interviews with the always interesting Winston Smith, Tanner, Avail and more. There's also some opinion filled columns and a great piece on the human pus bag named Phyliss Schlafly.

The 'zine is well laid out, heartfelt and intriguing.  'Zines of this caliber have been following a trend of band/label worshiping lately, but All the Answers avoids that.  The editor, Irwin, admits that he doesn't know it all.  Refreshing.

The Ziggens "Pomona Lisa" Review

Originally published in 1998 in issue 13 of Married Punks.


The Ziggens Pomona Lisa

As usual, the Ziggens create smooth surf music with a punk twist.  It does get silly at times with songs about waitresses and family road trips, but that doesn't distract the listener from the flowing guitars and subtle bass.

The one complaint I have, though, is that there are a few old songs on here that aren't necessarily the band's strongest material.  That's a trivial complaint, however, because I still enjoyed the hell out of this.

Zeke "Kicked in the Teeth" Review

Originally published in issue 13 of Married Punks, 1998.


Zeke Kicked in the Teeth

Two clues will let the person unfamiliar with Zeke know what he or she is in for:   1, Zeke sounds like the Dwarves.  2.  The band covers Kiss' "Shout it Out Loud."  (Second Kiss cover this issue so far.)

Zeke is from Seattle, but I think the guys skip the lattes and head straight for the Mad Dog.  This "music" is fast, dirty and grizzled, like the beard of that homeless guy that always leers at you when you get into that car Mommy and Daddy bought you.  This is the way non-political punk should sound.  Listen to "Telepath Boy" and tell me differently.  Try not sneering during "Dogfight."

I find it hard to believe that Zeke isn't from the East Coast.  Yep, it's that good.

Bob Xark "Gargoyle Wings" Review

Originally published in 1998 in issue 13 of Married Punks.


Bob Xark Gargoyle Wings


Xark, sometimes spelled Zark, is back again.  For those uninitiated, Xark combines poetry with samples, minimalist guitar work and drums in order to lift his words to a new place.  It works well.

There are 20 tracks of what can be best described as anger, beauty and consciousness interlaced with fever, bitterness and discontent.  Xark fans will enjoy it, though pretentious poet types will only be irritated by its unconventional mannerisms.  Good!  The world of poetry is stale, its muses are whiny people with too little real education.  Xark is the antithesis of that, and the realm of poetry is better for it.

Weird Vision/Spew-Gina "On the IIIrd Day God Created Noize!" Review

Originally appeared in issue 13 of Married Punks, published in 1998.


Weird Vision/Spew-Gina On the IIIrd Day God Created Noize!


Canada's Weird Vision performs an electronic horror movie-like song that is perfect for riding the bus through the Third Worldesque village of Manila, CA.  Bizarre.

Spew-Gina, a band reminiscent of A.C. and the Meatshits, is pure noise.  Skitzo-3, one of its members, was getting ready to go to jail as I listened to this.  I wonder why?  With songs like "Anal Beads w/Spewg on It," "Daddy's Little Squirt" and "Bowel Bondage," one can only guess.  Let's not forget the band massacres Iron Maiden's "Run to the Hills."  I love this kind of stuff.  Nothing clears out a room faster.

Skunk Records 1997 Fall Sampler Review

Originally published in issue 13 of Married Punks in 1998.


V/A - Skunk Records 1997 Fall Sampler

Sweet, kids, very sweet.  This has got some great tunes from The Ziggens, Del Noah and the Mt. Ararat Finks, Corn Doggie Dog and 1/2 lb., Friends of Jesus, and more.  There's also a little interview with The Long Beach Dub All-Stars.

Possessing this is like possessing the wind.  Fans of Skunk's unique punk/surf/reggae bands will need to get this to make their lives complete.  This is why I love compilations, though they are as prevalent as political corruption these days.

Punk Bites 2 Review

This originally appeared in 1998 in issue 13 of Married Punks.


V/A - Punk Bites 2

30 bands, some I've heard of before (NOFX, Pennywise, Bigwig, Straight Faced, White Kaps, Quincy Punx, Horace Pinker and others), some I haven't (Discount, Slick Shoes, Whippersnapper, Krhissy and Boredom).  Overall, a good package with some killer songs.  Standouts include "Calling All Punks" (Bickley), "Gimme, Gimme, Gimme" (Pennywise adroitly doing Black Flag), "Police Truck" (White Kaps doing ... oh, you know who), "Holiday Road" (the National Lampoon's Vacation classic done by Whippersnapper) and Quincy Punx's "Nutso Smasho."

Cinema Beer Nuts Review

This review originally appeared in issue 13 of Married Punks, published in 1998.


V/A - Cinema Beer Nuts

Another grand compilation with the Vandals, Mustard Plug, Ignite, Nobodys, Hi-Standard, AFI, Strife and Link 80 (not to mention a few others).

Besides the packaging (a beer nuts wrapper), this CD doesn't really stand out even though it is quite good.  To my knowledge, all of the songs appear elsewhere.  It does serve as a good introduction to a lot of the bands, though.

Three Bean Salad Review

This originally appeared in 1998 in issue 13 of Married Punks.


V/A - Three Bean Salad

Many of the more mainstream music fans don't understand the therapeutic value of noisecore/silly punk/grind, which this tap is chock full of.  After a day of working with the disease that is the consuming public, this tape presents the ultimate release.

This music is truly the music of rebellion.  Bands like Ecostench are so far from anything that the mainstream music public, in all its boring glory, would consider "safe."  The mainstream allows pseudorebellious music (Marilyn Manson, for example), while completely shunning a band like Sockeye (also on this tape).  It's not because the bands are too "noisy."  It's due to the fact that the mainstream music public will never understand these bands, and are therefore afraid of them.

If you can't or won't understand the meaning and rawness behind a band like the Scroungers, then it is already too late for you.  You've bought the lie that the bands represented here are just noise.  You might as well go back to your safe, though sometimes tolerably rebellious, music.  You'll never grasp the anger or subversion.  You'll never understand Pile of Eggs' "Flowers and Eggs."  You'll never even make an attemptto.  Why?  Because you're too boring and too stupid to realize what true danger is.

In case you haven't been able to read between the lines: I love this tape and hate you.