Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Another Column Idea That Never Launched

I tried promoting this one way back in 1999.  It was a column that dealt with the international underground sex scene.  Perhaps it is best this never took off.



The international underground sex scene is going strong, though it is better in some places than others, as is always the case.  One country where the scene is jumping, however, is England.
           
According to Sally, a twenty-nine-year-old corporate banker, the best places to visit are London, Leeds, Glasgow and Newcastle.  “Cardiff is all loose women looking for a shag,” Sally warns, “and small town girls love small town boys.  The small town girls don’t go for foreigners too much.”  So where to go for more refined, liberated tastes?

“London,” Sally answers.  “Go to Soho.  It’s got fetish clubs -- whatever you’re looking for.”  Sally doesn’t like talking about what she’s into, however, for fear of losing her job.  She is quick to point out that Bristol is another hot city to visit if you’re looking for love.  Some disagree with that, though.

“Bristol’s fairly dead,” explains Dan, a twenty-five-year-old who spends his time looking for anonymous sex with men and women.  “There’s prostitutes, but nothing else worth checking out.”

If prostitutes are your cup of tea, however, Serene reports that the prostitute scene in Singapore is bustling with action, though the clubs aren’t worth exploring.  “Lots of prostitutes from Thailand, the Philippines and Indonesia come over here to earn some bucks,” she confides when asked about Singapore’s sex action.  “You want to go to an area called Geylang.  There are lots of underground prostitution houses there.”  That bodes well for the traveling man who wants a smorgasbord of flesh.

Closer to home there’s the ever-popular, not to mentioned crowded, Tijuana, Mexico.  For those who want class and a wide range of women, the Chicago Club fits the bill.  If sleaze is your thing, though, Moulono Rojo comes highly recommended.  Be sure to catch the Snake Lady and her act if you dare enter Rojo’s doors.  It will be well worth it.

Next time we’ll examine where to go if you’re looking for native specialities, and we’ll talk to some sex workers who will be sure to open your eyes to some of the things you have to watch out for while on the road.  Ciao!


Friday, May 27, 2011

Found Objects Movie Review

Film Threat published my review of the short film Found Objects on 5/22/11.  This was one of the more painful reviews I've had to write, as it is rare to see something so well done fail so miserably.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

A Column Idea That Never Launched

Back in 1999 I came up with a column idea I pitched to various adult magazines.  It was called Notes From the Sexual Underground.  It covered exactly what it said: the sexual underground.  There was some interest expressed in it, but it nothing ever came of any of it.  Here is the what the first column would've been.


From the hotel rooms to the secret clubs across the world, the sexual underground is thriving.  As

usual, there is plenty going on, and this time it all starts with a new trend in publishing.

For years the underground punk rock publishing world has stuck close to its roots of music and political coverage.  Now, however, it is expanding its editorial scope to include the erotic and downright dirty.

 Ten Things Jesus Wants You to Know,  the legendary punk ‘zine from Washington, has started printing black and white nude photos throughout its pages.  The photos, mostly of women, are tasteful, but not exploitive, which is what the editor, Dan Halligan, was aiming for.

The male and female photos in The Probe  are tasteful and  exploitive, however, which is just the way the publisher, Aaron Muentz, likes them.  Muentz has also expanded into the video realm.  “The girl in the [Probe] video is a former roommate who has fun doing softcore stuff,” he explains.  But seeing as The Probe  is primarily a punk ‘zine, what has the reaction been to the nudity and softcore pornography?

 “I’ve had some objections from some PC [politically correct] people, but it’s pretty much come to be

accepted over the years.  I’ve got the word out that it’s usually friends of mine in the ‘zine.  It’s a little

different than your usual nudie girl stuff because it’s not for profit (until the video), and it’s always

been a one-time thing for the girls involved.”     

The Canadian publication, Fist Fuck, however, takes a different approach to sex.  Sex is the focus of this publication, while politics take a back seat.  The ‘zine, published by Heidi Riches, has some disturbing art of a sexual nature and nonfiction adult stories, some involving the publisher’s youth.  It is a popular publication with a group of loyal readers in spite of a low print run.

These publications show that despite a resurgence of Christianity among several underground cultures, some young people are still being sexually adventurous and experimental.  Such is the case with Greg and Gina.

Greg and Gina (not their real names) are twentysomethings from Southern California.  They are married.  They are swingers.  Says Gina, “We’ve been into it eight months after talking to people and making a mutual decision between us.”  She is open about her lifestyle, but is still somewhat shy for fear of “being busted and letting the whole world know.”

The couple finds most of their play partners through the Internet or “other connections,” and they mostly swing at their home or the home of their swing partners.  They have played at a swing club, too, but don’t ask where.  “It’s secret,” Gina explains.  “Members do not release any information.”

Even though secrecy plays a large role in their swinging, Gina and Greg may make a video in the future, but it won’t be available to the non-swinging public. 

While Greg and Gina meet partners over the Internet and other places, for some, the Internet is the only relief they have.  Spike, a young man of 27, turns to the Internet when he can’t find a woman to dominate him.

 “I first became aware [of being a submissive man] on a conscious level when I was 15 after I read

some female domination stories in Penthouse Variations.  He’s been dreaming about it ever since, but

admits that it’s not always easy to find someone to share his fantasy.


 “It wasn’t until I was 25 years old that I had my first real experience,” Spike explains.  He

lived with a domme he met at a bar.  They knew each other for a year before moving in together, at

which point they incorporated domination and submission into their lives. 

Now that Spike isn’t with the lady anymore, he spends his free time surfing the web looking for

dominating females and scanning websites devoted to female domination.  Perhaps he should travel to

Illinois to meet up with “lifestyle dominant,” Madam Divine.

Madam Divine, 46, has been actively participating in BD/SM activities since she was 18.  “It is the mental aspect and the intensity of the relationship that attracts me,” she explains.  “And I like to be in control.”

Madam Divine, who enjoys dominating both men and women, plays in her home, hotels and various clubs.  And while she doesn’t make her play her profession, she does do it “all the time.”

So whether it’s The Probe  or some dimly lit club in Chicago, chances are that if you are willing to dig deep, you’ll find something or someone to tickle your fancy.  Whether it’s childhood masturbation fantasies or women whipping you into submission, it’s out there.

Next time we’ll look at what’s going on in the world of underground videos with the people who make them, star in them and collect them.




Monday, May 9, 2011

Excess Hollywood: This Movie Safety Sealed For Your Own Protection

Originally published on Film Threat 12/22/05, this is my take on what responsibilities filmmakers have their audience (or potential audience) when they make a film.  You can read the piece here.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

A Dead Friend Now Available on Kindle

My second Kindle piece is an older short story I did called A Dead Friend.  It's tame compared to my usual horror pieces, as it was originally written for a magazine that declined it.  Hopefully if you like it, you'll write a review on Amazon. 

If you click through the link here, I will get a small commission, as well. 

I may be putting up one of my novels next.  The Kindle pieces are selling, but not like gangbusters, so pass the word on if you would be so kind.

Eyes of the Mothman Review

Published on Film Threat 5/2/11.  You can read the full review here.  Definitely worth watching the film if you are at all interested in Mothman.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Beekeeper

My review of the short film The Beekeeper appeared on Film Threat 9/22/09.  As you can read, I liked this film a lot, and ended up interviewing the main actress, Michelle Mueller, that same year.  (That interview also appeared on the site 11/2/09.)  The film was supposed to be made into a feature-length production, but I don't think that has happened yet.  Mark my words, if it does, Mueller is going to be an actress to watch.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

A Patriot Act

This film review for A Patriot Act (click here to read it) was first published on Film Threat 9/13/09.  As you'll read, I was less than impressed with it. 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Excess Hollywood: Blessed Are the Cinephiles

This "Excess Hollywood" column first appeared on Film Threat on 12/29/05.  In it I express how lucky I think cinephiles happen to be.  I also speak kindly of Chris Gore, which doesn't happen much these days.  You can read the column here.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Joy Ride 2 Review

Originally published 3/28/11 on Film Threat, this is my long-awaited review on Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead.  In retrospect, I fear I was being too kind.  You can read the review here.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Monday, March 7, 2011

First Kindle Short Story Up

Melinda, my first piece for the Kindle, is up on Amazon. It will be the first of many if this goes well. This is a horror story and is pretty subtle when compared to my other fiction.   Ninety-nine cents, too.  Cheaper than a cup of joe, and probably better for you.

Excess Hollywood: The Art of Snuff--The Shane Ryan Interview Part One and Two

You can read part one of my interview with actor/director Shane Ryan here.  My praise of his Amateur Porn Star Killer film franchise has cost me friendships and ad revenue to my blogs.  I still stand behind him and the APSK series, however.

This was originally published by Film Threat 1/12/2006.  The second part of the interview (which you can read here) was 1/19/06.

This was one of my favorite interviews, as it brought to light a lot of questions about what is legal to show in film and what is not. 

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Excess Hollywood: The Parent Trap

Originally published on Film Threat 1/26/06, this was an examination of the mindset behind parents who took their kids to see Hostel. You can read the piece here.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Fuck Shit Up

This piece originally ran in issue #4 of NO LONGER A FANzine, which sure some of you fondly remember. The issue came out in 1993. I did a regular column for it called "Fuck Shit Up." Here ya go ...


Fuck Shit Up

I've finally hit it big at work! Due to employees screwing around too much, missing too much time in general, and just acting human, my job put out a rule book. Cool.

While not doing anything more than serving as letter writing paper to me, the bosses at my shit job thought we should act as if this book were like the Bible. I hate the Bible, so it should be no surprise that the rule book meant nothing to me. Oddly enough, some people took it very seriously. They even followed the rules! What kind of Americans was I working with?

Now I know you're wondering when I'll get to the ways to destroy corporate Amerika and bring your boss to his well-worn knees, but if that's all you're waiting for, turn the page or go pick up a James Bond novel, 'cause it ain't happenin' here. Not this time. I just want to write about how employers try to fuck you at every turn.

We received this book about two weeks after a major management shake-up. The only way we could receive our paychecks (or so they told us) was if we signed a paper stating that we received, read and understood the book. This was, of course, before we were even handed the damn thing! Just for the record, doing that is totally illegal. We -- yes, even I -- signed. We wanted our checks!

The book happened to be a union rule book. We weren't a union shop. Strange. The book started out by stating that management could do anything they wanted (forced overtime, relocating employees, rearranging shifts) and they could change the rules with no notice to employees! That makes the rule book totally obsolete in my eyes. Why have rules if any dickhead boss can change them if something doesn't go their way? Ahh, to have power ...

After reading that I didn't bother with the rest of the rules except for two things: Drug Policy and a Point System.

We had a drug policy! For those of you who don't partake in the delights of drugs and alcohol you have nothing to worry about, right? Wrong! I don't do either, but it affected me. How? Suspicion. If they ever even suspected anything I could either be forced to pee in a jelly jar or fired. Not only that, but those who did partake in that shit couldn't even do it in the privacy of their own homes, not even on weekends! No more Miller time! Later, a boss admitted he even enjoyed a drink after work but, hey, "a job is hard to come by." I'm so sure he stopped.

The point system involved missing work or coming in late/leaving early. You would be assigned points according to the amount of time you missed. A whole day was worth two points! After twelve points you were "terminated." Scary. The points and their punishments didn't matter because the bosses played favorites and changed the rules left and right. To get a point (one point) back you had to work thirty working days straight! No leaving early or coming in late. To get any kind of reward you had to reach -3 points. Only one woman did that but they claimed she was disqualified because she left early on a Saturday. She wasn't even scheduled to work then (lesson one: don't do bosses any favors) and she was so sick they took her to the hospital!

The next week they came with our checks, but guess what? They wouldn't give us our checks until we signed a paper stating that we read and agreed to the drug and alcohol policy. I, along with about four others, refused to sign, demanded our checks and went to the bank. The other sheep signed and complained about how much it sucked. They weren't willing to make a stand, though.

So I have one bit of advice: Don't bitch, moan or complain about something and then do nothing about it! That's so fucking worthless and if you do it, so are you.

Fuck off and get a tumor. Love, Doug